The Song of We Remember
[This peculiar legend was recorded c. 3E 86 during an anthropological survey of indigenous Nords of the Broken Cape. The song was popular among rustic bards at the time, though no trace of it remains today.]
... then came the time of the weird stars, when everything was topsy-turvy. We did not know up from down, but went in circles backward, our confusion-faces seeing only where we had already been. And this lasted for as many years as there are hand-widths in the great beam of Sovngarde. And the gods were all very sleepy, almost as sleepy as great Alduin, who is always sleepy, except when he is not -- then, you best watch out! So the gods fell asleep on the floor of Sovngarde. And in place of the gods a great dragon awoke, this was not a new dragon, but a dragon made from all the bits and pieces of dragons we had already destroyed, so long ago. And the dragon had eight heads, it was a very ugly dragon!
We were in a lot of trouble because of this dragon, and with none of the gods to help us out! But luckily we were aided by a shining star, which was a blue woman and she shone like a star. The Nord warriors loved to see her! They were all enamored, but with Dibella fast asleep they [...text lost...] so it was very important to wake the gods back up and defeat that dragon.
At first the warriors decided to make as much noise as possible, to chase the weird stars away and wake the gods back up. But the backwards days confused them, so that they could not agree on a date!
Some said they should do it on South Wind's Day, but the South Wind had gotten lost in the woods of last year. They waited and waited for the wind, a very long time, and in the end all those who waited turned into stones. And that's where the field of standing stones of Wuurthal comes from, all those warriors still waiting.
Others said they should do it on the commemoration of Herrad's Victory over the West-Elves. But because of the weird times, Herrad was not even born yet! Herrad was very confused to hear this. He complained to the clever-men, but they pretended not to see him because it was at that time a common superstition that clever-men should not talk to the unborn (it has since been allowed).
Still others wanted to keep it simple and come together on Shor's Day, next week. Of course that week it was Shor's Day every day, so everybody came out on a different day and made too little noise to wake up anybody except their neighbors, who were very cross with them, and this led to a lot of blood-feuds.
The warrior Ulf then proposed a second plan, which was to shoot a burning arrow into Sovngarde. According to Ulf, the heat and smoke would wake the gods back up, whereupon Kyne could put it out with a storm, or something, and everything would be fine. It was a stupid plan, because Ulf was a very stupid man.
Ulf went to the clever-men at Haafingar to borrow Telhms' Arkha, the great bow made from Telhm's oar with which he rowed across the Sea of Ghosts. And normally the clever-men would not have given it, they would have beaten Ulf with a stick for even asking. But on that day all the clever-men had walked the wrong way and turned into babies, so they were powerless to stop him.
Back in those days it was very easy to find a door into Sovngarde, they were all over the place. Lazy hearth-wives threw the bones of their meal into a death-door rather than bury them, and little children kicked rocks through them until Tsun would come out to scold them. Luckily he was asleep, for he would have done more than scold Ulf for this stupid plan.
With sure aim he shot a flaming arrow right through the old door at Wolin's Head. In no time, all of Shor's great hall was on fire -- the straw on the floor, the picture tapestries that tell you of battles past, even Mara's big spinning wheel around which the cosmos spins -- and still the gods would not wake up! The Nord warriors then became very afraid, because can you imagine how much trouble we would be in if they had burned down Sovngarde? We would have been in big trouble.
Luckily, great Alduin (still fast asleep despite all this noise and commotion) yawned just then, and his mighty dragon's exhalation snuffed out the fire. And this is why the doors to Sovngarde are now very well hidden, so that fools cannot find them, and also so that people will stop using them to dispose of garbage, that is not what they are for.
Finally, the big blue star-woman spoke up. Her name was Moly. She said to the gathered warriors: "You are all very brave and cunning, and make clever plans, that I can tell. I would not just say that to spare your feelings, because I am a star-woman and star-women cannot lie."
The warriors all agreed that their plans were clever and that they were very brave.
"However," she continued, "instead of trying to wake the gods to do your fighting for you, why not fight that ugly dragon yourself? After all, you are the Nords, courageous and strong -- and very handsome, by the way."
The warriors agreed again with the wise words of the blue star-woman, and they quickly gathered their hosts to do battle against the awful in-between dragon. There were a lot of warriors, at least five hundred!
But they had underestimated the dragon's power. One of its heads roared, and half the Nordic warriors fell dead on the field. The second head roared, and half of the remaining warriors turned to ash. The third head roared, and again half of the remaining force was crushed as if by great force. The fourth head roared, and so on, and so on, and in the end all the Nord warriors were dead.
What misfortune! All the Nords were dead! Some said this was worse than the burning of Sovngarde, but others said that it wasn't that bad, because if Sovngarde had burned while they were alive, they would have been held responsible, but now it was the other way around nobody could blame them for nothing.
But, luckily, the Nords had the blue star-woman on their side, who knew a thing or two about the backwards days. So instead of mourning the heroes who had died, she simply walked to a place where all this hadn't happened yet. There, she found the army of the Nords unharmed. "Well?" She said, "what are you waiting for? That dragon won't kill itself, you know." And so the Nords fell upon the beast again, and again the first head roared, and half the warriors died, and the second head, and the third, you get the point. They all died.
And again the blue star-woman went to a place where the calamity had not yet occurred, and again she spurred the Nords into action. And this went on for quite some time. And after a while the dragon grew weary from the fight.
And as the beast was weakened, the Nords managed to wound it -- once! Twice! Thrice! And the beast fell down. They hacked at it with axes, and beat it with hammers, and some even bit it, until the beast was truly dead. And then, joyous occasion! The gods woke up again. The gods were of course very embarrassed about falling asleep, so they pretended like nothing happened, and they didn't even complain about the fire damage to Sovngarde (though you could tell they wanted to).
Sadly, the blue woman had to go, for she could only exist in the time of weird stars. But she said she had a great time, and she promised to visit the Nords again whenever thing go topsy-turvy. And then she was gone, and some of the warriors felt like she had kind of led them on, if you know what I mean. But it is unbecoming to whine about such things, especially since she also got them all killed an infinite number of times, and nobody was complaining about that.
And that is how we, the Nords, defeated the evil in-between dragon and restored the proper way of things. Of course, the Cyrodiils claim that it was they who ended the weird stars time, by telling a bunch of old men to write down on a piece of paper when they thought it had ended. But I don't think you can kill a dragon with a piece of paper. It's not sharp enough.
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Nordic myth about the Middle Dawn. Not quite sure if I hit the right tone. Nordic mythology is also not my forte, so let me know if I made any blatant mistakes.